Tag: motherhood

You do you Boo

prettylittleleilaLeave a comment

If you had met me about 10 years ago, part of my self-description would include triathlete. On a whim in 2011, I decided to do a triathlon, and managed to achieve the goal with the support of my sister-coach, my fellow tri-lady and family and friends. I enjoy the sport so much because it appeals to my (then undiagnosed) ADHD mind which just cannot stick to one sport.

Completing my first triathlon

I managed to complete a few triathlons, and then I fell pregnant for the first time. Throughout my pregnancy though, I tried to upkeep the swim bike run training, which eventually became swim walk training, because being a triathlete was so entrenched in who I am.

And then I just stopped. And all I did was mother, and worked, and occasionally saw my friends.

And then fell pregnant again… having to mother more, and after being retrenched, finding a job and feeling the need to work harder so that it doesn’t happen again.

And I didn’t pick up triathlon again. Does that mean I’m not a triathlete? Is it no longer a part of my identity?

And I spent the next few years trying to figure out who I am, and learning to love myself. The moment I stopped doing things like triathlon is the moment I told myself that who I am mattered less than who others need me to be.

Completing Sanlam mile swim in 2019 – getting back to myself slowly

It’s been a struggle to get back there, to put myself first. My children grew up into tiny humans with their own stuff, and they needed me to be there, and I wanted to be a part of their sports and activities.

What I realised last year was that being their mom didn’t have to stop me from being Leila: the writer, triathlete, blogger, lover of coffee and cupcakes.

And so began my journey back to myself.

Completing my first 10km since becoming a mom

I set myself the goal of completing a triathlon, I found an accountability partner and a training plan, and set off to achieve that goal.

And on the 5th of November 2023, I completed it.

Achieving my goal at Tinman triseries

I feel like I have returned to myself. It is in that moment of accomplishment that I felt like Leila again. I did something for myself. For my own reasons.

And I think that’s the important lesson for me in this. That we need to have self-integrity. That we know ourselves, and in our journey to loving ourselves, we stay true to who we are, we do what is important to us. Most importantly, we do what we say we are going to do.

“I will do a triathlon.”

And I did.

Part of your self-love journey needs to include being true to yourself, and having that self-integrity to do what you say you are going to do.

It took me 9 years to learn that and stick to it, but I did it.

And I encourage you to do the same, whatever that thing is that makes you you. Make sure that you carve out time for it, even in the chaos of life. 

What does it all mean?

prettylittleleila1 Comment

I was born Leila (pronounced LIE-LAH) Gardner on the Thursday the 12th of April 1984, by Caesar, on a date chosen by my mother, so that I wasn’t born on Friday the 13th. And while it may sound like an overshare, there is a lot to be said of your birth experience and how it impacts the rest of your life. If you believe in the weird sciences. And I tend to flip flop between the weird sciences and the actual sciences. Just like my name is spelt like LAY-LAH, and pronounced like LIE-LAH.

Just like my name, I am complicated. And generally don’t fit into the boxes. I can be a lot for some people. And it’s taken me 30 some years to realise that that’s ok. I hope you’re all still reading, because I’m just getting started.

To describe myself, in one word, I would say: quirky. And I hope that this blog will give you some insight into my quirky world.

A world which I inhabit with my husband and two kids. My birth family is spread around the world, but I have a big family of inlaws who mostly live within 5kms of me. We like each other at least. And then there is my friendamily, made up of people that share my brand of crazy.

By day, I am a marketing “professional”. And that’s all I’d like to say about that.

By night, I’m everything else. I do a little ballet because I enjoy dance and I wanted to do contemporary, but it clashed with my son’s swimming. Hashtag momlife. I do a bit of writing. Not this blog only, but I’m writing a screen play and a novel. The plans/outlines of which mock me every day as they are above my dressing table. And then I try and fit in some running and some swimming and other fitness type things.

I used to consider myself a triathlete, but now the only tri sports I do are feeding my kids, bathing them and getting them ready for bed.

Also, I bring this up, because it’s a part of me, although I don’t allow it to define me is that I suffer with Anxiety, Depression and ADHD. And I hope I can share some insights of living with the triad of mental illness and my journey towards mental health. So while I am on this journey, of mental health, motherhood and other things, I hope I can share my life with you and maybe you’ll laugh, maybe you’ll cry, because you’re laughing so much. And maybe you’ll just think I’m weird but carry on reading anyway. But hopefully I’ll make you feel ok, and maybe I’ll inspire some of you. To do what, I dunno. But if you feel good then my work here is done.